Making it right
by tofem
Summary: The relationship between Kathy and Olivia from the begining of the show from Kathy's point of view. Olivia/Kathy story because here really isn't any enough of those around.


This is my first story so please be nice. It has not been beta read because frankly I don't know how that works. I would love to hear your opinion and if I should keep to reading and stay away from writing.

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I hated her before I even met her. My husband was already spending most of his time at work and when he came home talking about getting a new partner first I was glad because he really didn't like the one he had had for some time now. He kept saying that his former partner didn't believe most of the rape victims and it was getting old fast hearing him degrade these women when they were alone in the car.

So I was happy for him and decided that I would like his new partner at least for the first 5 minutes of him talking about his partner. He was assigned a female partner and all he was talking about the first week of them being partnered was how great she was with the victims and how much better of a partner she was.

Within the first week of Olivia becoming my husbands' partner I decided that I hated her. This didn't improve when I first met her, not only had Elliot not called to let me know he was bringing his partner home for dinner he hadn't told me his new partner was gorgeous.

This first meeting with Olivia did nothing of changing y dislike for her, but I had to trust her to have Elliot's back while they were on the street.

Elliot was as always spending most of his waking moments at work and not so few sleeping too, and to make matters worse his mood was terrible and closed off with regular intervals.

Elliot never suspected my dislike for Olivia and over the next year following our first meeting he brought her home to dinner and some Sunday barbecues.

Later I found out that Olivia had known from the minute we were introduced. That was what she told me the day she came to talk to me. She had apparently been meaning to come by on one of her days off to avoid Elliot and to talk to me.

The kids were all at school when she was at the door. My first thought was that something had happened to Elliot and she wanted to tell me in person but she stopped my fears before they could get out of hand, she really is considerate like that.

"_Nothing happened to Elliot, I just hoped you would talk to me" At this point she was looking nervous but continued before I could think of a reason to turn her away._

"_I know that you don't like me but I would really like this change to clear the air because I like working with Elliot and would hate for something like your dislike of me to ruin that."_

_By now I was a little baffled and didn't know what to say so I just opened the door a little wider and stepped aside letting her in. She smiled a crocked half smile and followed me into the kitchen._

_Olivia had seated herself at the kitchen table while I was getting her a cup of coffee. I still wasn't sure what she wanted from me so I kept quite and left it to her to start._

"_Please Kathy, tell me why it is that every time I see you, you look like you are ready to kill me. Is it something I have done?"_

_At this I sighed before answering. "My husband spends most of his time at work with you. You even sleep in the same room when working overtime. You know all the details of his work and just look at you. How am I supposed to compete with all of that?"_

_Once I got started it was like a weight had been lifted it was so great to get all this off my chest._

_Olivia looked slightly confused of this and started looking herself up and down like she might have spilled something._

_After Olivia had looked herself up and down, her confused look changed to understanding. She just smiled at me._

"_Look Kathy, you don't have to compete with me for Elliot's affection. I've heard more stories of you and the kids to last me a lifetime."_

_At this point I wasn't really believing her because I've heard him talk about his amazing partner. _

_Olivia must have picked up on my skepticism because she told me something I hadn't expected._

"_I might spend more time with Elliot then you're comfortable with but I can guaranty you that nothing like you fear will ever happen between us."_

_Now it was my turn again to look baffled and Olivia on the other hand was looking like she wanted to disappear more than anything. It really was a sign of her strength and wish to make this partnership with my husband work that she stayed and spelled it out for me._

"_Kathy you don't have to worry because I'm gay. I just led the guys think what they want about the rumors going around. It's just easier that way."_

_At this point she had gotten up and was ready to leave before I could get my brain and mouth working again._

"_Elliot doesn't know!" It was more of a statement then a question and Olivia just nodded. _

"_I won't tell him then, but please stay at least for a little while."_

I didn't know it at the time but this was the beginning of the best thing in my life except for my children.

It wasn't easy and it took some time but Olivia became my closest friend. The best thing about that was that she unlike Elliot was willing to talk to me about the work they both spend most of their time doing. I'm not saying that she told me everything, I'm not that naïvebut she was sharing and not only that it gaveme some insight to my husband that he himself was unwilling or couldn't give.

With her work and her trying to find someone to share her life with I didn't see her as often as people think you would see you closest friend but whenever I needed someone, whether it was someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on or just someone to yell at she came no questions asked. This was more than I had ever gotten from Elliot.

I therefore found it to be a small repayment for all Olivia had so selflessly done for me when Elliot came home cursing the Captain and Olivia. When I finally got him calmed down and got some of the story I found that Olivia had been suspended after going after the father of a little girl she failed to save after he had abused her and they had to let him go he killed his daughter.

I ended up spending the next day and night at her apartment being her shoulder.

After she came back from her undercover time with the tree huggers I knew she was back long before Elliot ever found out. But he was to busy fooling around with his new partner to notice anything going on around him.

Olivia was as supportive as always when we first hit our rough spot but when she came back and found Beck had taken over her spot on the team she had not only taken time off, without telling any of the guys, she was also helping the kids out dealing with their Daddy leaving.

It was not an easy time being alone with 4 kids but it was not like Elliot used to be around that much.

The kids all loved having Olivia around; she had always held a special place in their lives since partnered up with their father.

When I got back together with Elliot and found out I was pregnant it seemed like Olivia was pulling more for this to work then the rest of us combined. I once asked her the reason she was so hell bend on us making it this time around. I didn't get a clear answer, which in itself was unusual, but I think her problems finding that special one that would stick with her through anything was a big part of it.

It never really got any easier as my due date came closer. Elliot didn't seem like he wanted to change the way things were before and to tell you the truth I myself wasn't really trying all that hard.

The kids had been ecstatic when Daddy had first moved back home but it wasn't long before Elliot went back to working impossible long hours and it turned out he was there for them less then when we were apart.

When he accused me of having had sex with another man and gotten pregnant with that man's child I was so shocked that I had no idea how to react but I was glad that he couldn't be bothered taking me to my doctors appointment. I was secretly thrilled that Olivia volunteered with no hesitance unlike Elliot that behaved like every time I asked something of him I wanted him to get me a piece of the moon.

I was having a great day and enjoyed spending my time with Olivia and before I knew what had happened I was having contractions while I was stuck in Olivia's car.

I don't remember much of that day but what I do remember is that Olivia was my rock and pillar. She saved me and my baby that had decided to enter this world in a way that could never be forgotten.

As I look back at it now, naming my baby after his father was my last real attempt of salvage a marriage that had been lost long ago.

Don't get me wrong things didn't end right away I tried for awhile before I found the courage to end it.

It isn't easy being my age with a new baby and a husband that can't be bothered coming home. Some of the times when he did come home he smelled of perfume and I was certain that it wasn't something Olivia would use, because she had always like more supple smells, like Elliot used as a reason the times that I bothered to ask.

At this time not only was I suspecting that Elliot was cheating on me but my best friend started coming by less and when I finally saw her it was as awkward as the first time we really talked. I had no trouble understanding the awkwardness because she had to have known that he was seeing someone else but she couldn't betray her partner or me.

That Olivia was so troubled by all this actually made my decision that much easier. On one of her rare days off I went to her apartment as soon as I had seen the twins of to school. It wasn't really a problem bringing Eli with me even though he had kept us all up most of the last couple of nights and he was cranky because I knew that he had a special connection with Olivia and he would have a much better day with her than at home where he wasn't getting enough sleep.

I haven't been able to figure out what this connection is but she has a calming influence on him that I can only guess comes from the circumstance of his birth and Olivia's part in it.

She looked surprised but happy to see us at her doorstep and gladly took the cranky Eli from me. As soon as he was in her arms he as the most adoringly happy boy and cooing for all he was worth like he was telling Olivia the best story ever. Olivia was listening and answering like he was telling her the most interesting story she heard all year. She looked like this was the most important thing she could do with her time and in that moment it was true.

I knew it would take her awhile to notice me more than us in the door but with her relaxed posture and the smile that reached her eyes I didn't mind at all and I got myself comfortable on her couch and enjoyed the first quite time I had had all day. Once Eli had told his story and calmed down enough to fall asleep, to get the sleep that he had gone without for days now, Olivia returned her attention to me. That in itself was always a strange experience I never knew how to explain what all that attention did to me. Now I just know that it is the most wonderful feeling.

When she turned her attention to me the smile disappeared from her eyes and she became more ridged. I knew she wouldn't betray Elliot and I wasn't about to ask her to, which I found years later that she had expected.

What she hadn't expected was me telling her I found out about Elliot's affair and that I had thrown him out a couple of day's ago for good this time. I told her I was sure this was the best solution for all but especially for my kids and for me.

I found out later that this was the second important turning point in our relationship, but that came much later and it all sort of came sneaking up on me.

After this Olivia came around as often as her job allowed it, she said it was because she wanted to give the kids someone else besides me that they could relay on and wanted to me a hand so I wouldn't have to shoulder everything by myself. At the time I didn't know that Elliot was spiraling out of control and that Olivia was feeling helpless to save her partner. She had even gotten Cragen to partner her with Fin. I didn't know any of this till I dragged it out of her a night a couple months later when she was over for a family Saturday on a day off.

She had even made sure come hell or high water that she wouldn't be called in unless the guys were all dead. I had noticed that the days she spend with us was very rarely interrupted by work but haven't though more of this. This was also the day that I found out that for all her days off, and there were more then I had ever experienced before both from Elliot or Olivia, that since the day I told her I had thrown Elliot out she had made a deal with Cragen, Munch and Fin. She had never told them the reason just that it was important to her family. This part I heard years later from Munch. Even though the guys knew she was helping me and the kids they never told her.

Olivia helped us get stabilized again and made the healing process faster but it broke her hearth that she couldn't help her partner. She might have included the rest of us as her family but he was the first person to believe in her and he introduced her to what she had been searching desperately for her whole life a FAMILY.

When disaster hit again I didn't know what to do to help not only my kids but also Olivia.

The day that we buried Elliot was the day that I saw my first glimpse of the vulnerable Olivia that she didn't let anybody else see.

He had been shot when they were out interviewing what they at the moment thought was a witness but it turned out he was the perp that had raped and killed 3 women before he killed Elliot.

Olivia had taken us all home, even Maureen and Kathleen had come with us, after the funeral. She had put on a brave face all day and was again saving my family when I though that everything was falling apart. The kids had gone to bed and Olivia had gotten Eli calmed down and asleep, he didn't really understand that Daddy was gone but he had picked up on the mood and he had been cranky most of the day. It was only thanks to Olivia that it hadn't been worse because she had been willing to spend most of her time with him. Those few moments during the day where she had to leave his sight and let him out of her arms Eli had been crying as loud as possible for his Livia. She was just sitting on the couch looking at nothing in particular and the tears rolling down her cheeks with a sound.

Here was the woman who had helped me countless of times fan meant the world to my family falling apart and there was nothing I could say or do. The only action, that I at the time could come up with, was pulling her into my arms and gently rock her.

We didn't talk about anything that night but it was the first time Olivia spend the night on our couch. At the time I didn't think about why her feelings was so important to me and for a long time I tried to convince myself that it was because she was important to my kids and nothing else.

Olivia was now spending all her free time with us and it became a regular thing that she spend the night on our couch, it must have been rather uncomfortable but she never complained, and the kids was thriving on the attention Olivia was lavishing on all of us. I didn't know it was all her time but suspected and tried to push her to dating again so she could find her own family. I never really pushed that hard and Olivia just smiled at me and told me she was right where she wanted to be.

It all changed again over the holiday season. It was hard getting through Thanks Giving and when December came around Olivia was practically living with us. At this time I had talked her into with the help of Maureen that she could use her old room when she was at school. Olivia insisted that whenever Maureen wanted to come home she got to sleep in her own bed and that was the only way we could get her off the old couch that had needed to thrown out years ago. This meant that every weekend that Maureen came home she would argue with Olivia to try to talk her into staying in her room and that she would be fine with sharing with Kathleen. That never really worked and I was convinced that at the point we got to December that it was all a game to the two of them, like a ritual they wouldn't wont to change.

It wasn't easy celebrating the holidays without Elliot and we were are dealing it was hard for Eli because he really didn't know what was going on and why everybody was sad most of the time and it was effecting him but with Olivia spending so much time with us he was becoming a happy little boy again. Whenever he saw her after she came from work he would to her and demand that his Livia would pick him up. I believe that his affection was helping Olivia heal more than the rest of us could manage.

Because all she had done for us we had decided to give her the family Christmas she never had. This caused me to call Cragen to get him to help me. This all culminated in Olivia getting a week worth of vacation at Christmas. This was turning out to be a good holiday, Kathleen and Maureen came home from school and the kids and Olivia was enjoying there time off. Maureen tried as always to get Olivia to use her room but I believe that it was more of a game to both of them.

We had a great Christmas Eve and the kids were all looking forward to the morning. When it was just the two of us that was up I managed to talk her into sharing my bed but I think at this point her back was protesting her sleeping arrangement then any other thing and she really needed a good nights sleep if she was going to survive Christmas Day with my kids. I was relieved because I was feeling bad because I knew she had a great bed at home, I had heard stories about enough to believe her, and we were keeping her from it.

By the time we were both ready to go to sleep after putting all the present out for the morning I was nervous and had butterflies in my stomach and I really couldn't explain why. Olivia just smiled at me and told she didn't bide and if I would feel better she could always sleep on the couch. That solved the problem and I had no trouble getting in bed after that.

When I slowly woke up the next day I could hear the kids starting breakfast and I felt better and safer than I could remember I had in a long time. It took me some time to figure out why it felt so right till I remembered that Olivia was sleeping on the other side of the bed and that was when I noticed that I was engulfed in a pair of arms and I could feel Olivia's warm breath on my neck. As soon as I noticed this I was covered in goose bumps and I slowly turned in her arms determined not to wake her in the process. What really surprised me was how relaxed and innocent she looked in her sleep but it didn't look like she was waking up anytime soon but I knew that if we didn't get down to the kitchen soon the kids would come running into the room and jumping on the bed and I was sure that Olivia wasn't comfortable with the kids seeing her like this. I didn't want to shake her out of sleep so I softly kissed her nose and then on her mouth. That actually woke her she learned in a kissed me back which shocked me and apparently Olivia too when she opened her eyes. Before she could pull away and apologies I grabbed her arms and kept them around me before I leaned back in and kissed her.

That turned out to be the best holiday season I ever had but that didn't make it any less scary but with the patience of the most wonderful person, Olivia, and the support of my kids I found the one person that could make everything right again and not only for me but for the entire family.

"Honey, you coming to bed or are you going to look out the window all night."

As I am pulled from my thoughts I look over to the bed and I can't help but think why it took me so long to see what was right in front of me all these years. That the most beautiful person was there all along and I just had to open my eyes to find the one to complete me.

"Yeah Liv, I'll be right there, I was just lost in though."

She just smiled that adorable half smile and held the blanket up for me to snuggle in. I would never have imagined that Olivia liked to snuggle but as soon as I'm in the bed she scoots right over and puts her arm over my stomach. She has done this every time we slept together.

She nuzzles my neck and quietly says "what got you thinking so hard that I can practically hear the wheels turning?" As she ends her sentence she kisses along my jaw line ending just at the edge of my mouth while looking into my eyes.

When it doesn't seem like I'm going to answer anytime soon she kisses me softly and full of promise and nuzzles my neck again. When I finally find my voice she is ghosting kisses on my neck without really moving. This is really distracting and partly why I haven't answered, the other reason is I don't really know what to say because I wasn't thinking about just one thing. Finally I answer "you, us".

THE END


End file.
